ExposedNYC

One of the best ways to live a content single existence is to make sure that other aspects of your life are adequately fulfilled. I’ve always been a passionate patron of the arts and realized that, while teaching dance classes through the weekend and volunteering at a charity gala last night, I barely gave more than a few thoughts to being nervous about my upcoming date. As much as we would all like to find someone to share our moments of success with, we can often overlook how amazing it is just to have those moments.

I’m really lucky to be pursuing a few of my passions as professions. It not only stimulates both my creative and professional drive, but working largely on freelance projects allows me to be surrounded by amazing people with similar interests. So, instead of spending the day wishing I could race home and spend time with my significant other, I get to spend the day enjoying exactly what I’m doing.

I met an amazing man at the charity gala, who is in his seventies, single, and one of the happiest people I’ve ever encountered. The stories he has to tell about traveling the world, receiving professional acclaim as a dancer, and the amazing friendships he has maintained are an inspiration for self-actualization. Not only does his idea of taking the time to fulfill yourself make you happier while living alone, it allows you to bring a more valuable person into an eventual relationship.

Now, I’m certainly not advocating giving up on a social life while pursuing other goals, but it’s important to remember that a relationship doesn’t define who you are. One of my closest friends is coming up on one of the biggest weeks in her professional life, so when I got a phone call from her on Monday, I assumed this is what she was calling to talk about. Instead, she had a really bad week, topped off by a fight with her ex-boyfriend who always manages to overwhelm her thoughts no matter what else she has going on.

Part of what has allowed me to adopt my perspective is the number of blessings in my life. I have an amazing, supportive, and happily married family who have given me quite an example of what to hope for myself one day. I have incredible friends who support and listen to my stories and dreams, both professionally and romantically. And, I’ve had the freedom to explore what makes me happy without being burdened by too many responsibilities that can otherwise force us to compromise.

When asked why I’ve often been single for long periods in my life, I used to be at a loss for words. I’ve come to realize that I never gave it too much thought because I didn’t feel that there was a huge void to fill. Of course, particularly after watching a good love story, I dream about having a last phone call of the night, or someone to raise a family with, but part of the reason I’ve been able to maintain a fairly casual relationship about physical intimacy is that it fulfills just one small part of my entire being. I’m confident that one day I’ll find my entire package, but until then, I’m happy taking every card in my hand from a different deck, because I generally end up pretty close to a full house.

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