Coast to Coast
I’m getting on a plane in the next couple of hours to head to Los Angeles for a few days, and I have to admit I’m ready for a break. New York is a tough city to survive in day to day, and in the past week I’ve been dismissed by a guy I was starting to really like, and lost my cell phone for a day and a half (it was returned through the MTA lost and found system, thank you good karma!). I’m excited not only for the change of scenery, but for a glimpse at survival of a single girl in another tough city.
I’m going to share in one of the first performances of a friend’s dance company, and more than that, to show her that she’s not alone. She has had a rough couple of months, dealing with the unraveling of a relationship with one of the most important men in her life. They started as close friends before dating, which makes the grieving process twofold. She has lost not only a romantic interest in her life, but the closest friend that she would normally call to lean on during the demise of any previous relationship.
She and I grew up together, moved to major cities on opposite coasts, and have shared the struggle of finding a new base of local friends while searching for our soul mates. This is a tough predicament! In both New York and Los Angeles, and particularly after college, most of the people you will meet have an established group of close friends, and penetrating that circle and establishing yourself as worthy of addition takes more than just an amicable relationship. Maintaining a relationship is time-consuming, hard work and is not taken lightly in the adult world.
So, as a previously inducted member of her group, I didn’t bat an eye after hearing that her dance company was holding its first performance, before jumping on a ticket for two and a half days in California. Those core friends require maintenance to maintain, too, and I knew this was a landmark in her professional career. I didn’t realize how important to her this trip was until days before when, over a tearful conversation, we discussed the loneliness of making it in a foreign city.
Girlfriends are a huge part of filling your life with amazing memories before settling into a family. She and I share a favorite quote from Sex and the City when Charlotte muses, “maybe we can be each other’s soul mates, and then we could let men be these great, nice guys to have fun with.” None of us should expect just one person to fulfill the role of cheerleader, admirer, and support system, so while her and I search for our romantic matches, I’m excited to share a moment that I know is important to her.
So, for the next three days, expect thoughts and stories of single life in Los Angeles. Vacations always come with the promise of a possible fling, or at least fun flirtation with someone you know doesn’t come with strings attached. I consider it an added bonus that one of my closest friends works in an office full of cute, young, educated men that she wants me to meet. This is not only a break from my recently disappointing New York dating life, but a break from evaluating any man I spend a significant amount of time with for his potential. Sometimes we just need a break.