Define Morality
Okay, so I try to respect other women above all else. I have learned my lesson in my younger days that if a guy is with someone and says he’ll leave them (he won’t) and if he says they’re separated, or trying to work things out, you can expect things to be seriously complicated.
I went to what I expected to be a fairly androgynous event this evening, a going away party for a great guy friend who also happens to be an amazing dancer. I expected the guys to arrive hitting on him, and the guys to be of the homosexual persuasion. I wasn’t expecting to be put in any difficult situations.
I started chatting with a guy, “Robbie” who I met outside the bar as my cab pulled up, because there was a crew out in front smoking. He was friendly, cute, and well above the six foot mark, so I was practically drooling by the time we went inside. He found a seat, and I threw my jacket and purse down across from him.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know the background story. I started to realize, over the next hour, that one of the girls I met out front was constantly rubbing his back, or buying him a drink, or otherwise making it obvious that they were a couple. I engaged her in conversation, and did whatever else I could do to prove I was not a threat.
It turns out I wasn’t the problem. He and I got caught up in a conversation about Lost, leading to fathers, religion, and all kinds of deep topics. Somehow, including mutual friends, we got into a discussion of children, and multiple births running in his family. So, to clear the air, when the two of us were alone I turned to him and said, “So, she’s the mother of your future triplets, right?”
It tuuns out I was severely wrong. He said that they had been together for five years, but were on the verge of breaking up (real estate was keeping them together), but they were not destined for forever. This left me in a weird predicament. I had just met them as a couple, and knew nothing about their background, but felt compelled to be friendly and open to him. I tried to restrain flirtation, but at the same time wanted him to know that I was interested once he dealt with his past.
He made me think about so many things. How do you know when it’s right? They’re both actors, and she was just cast in a Broadway show. Is he jealous? Were they not right anyway? Did they fail and I should pursue the possibility of us getting to know each other in different industries? It’s impossible to tell why someone doesn’t work out, but it’s twice as hard to get involved if you’ve met both parties, no matter how briefly. How do you know when you have the green light?