What You Want, Baby I Got It
I went out for a drink with one of my girlfriends tonight, and we got to talking about the kind of guys we’re attracted to, versus the kind of guy that would be good for us. Sadly, these aren’t always one in the same.
My girlfriend is an ambitious, articulate, and incredibly driven woman. I don’t think I’ve ever known her to not be pursuing her dream, while still managing to party like a rock star. She’s dated her fair share of men since I’ve known her, and I’ve always been surprised that she hasn’t been snatched up yet.
She said that she’s constantly drawn towards guys that she feels she needs to save or take care of. She’s got a strong maternal instinct, and is the oldest of a big family. She may say she wants someone to stand up to her, but her track record tells otherwise.
I was struck by this, because it’s not at all who I gravitate towards. I get annoyed by both ends of this spectrum. I don’t want someone I need to take care of, but I also get annoyed with guys who try to take care of me. My ideal is someone who challenges me to be a better person, by being a better person themselves.
I’m fiercely independent, but have a streak of laziness inherent in my nature. I generally gravitate towards things that come naturally to me. Guys, somehow, seem to be the exception to this rule.
I don’t want someone that walks me to the doorstep of where I need to go, and I don’t want someone who needs me to do the same for them. I want someone who walks me to a fork in the road, lets go of my hand, and then meets me on the other side to share stories of our adventures. I’d rather leave the caretaking for our children.
Some girls are drawn to bad boys, while others only want the boy next door. I’m interested to hear stories of what you want in a man, and who you end up drawn to?
December 12th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
I’ve dated the bad boys & the good boys. The bad boys I never got what I wanted and the thrill of being w/ someone not typical wore quickly. The good guys - I like the attention but then bore to easily. I always said I had a “TYPE” of guy - but being I’ve now found who I’m going to marry - I can say I was WAY off what I expected myself to be with. The key is to not have the expectations of the perfect mate. It’s all about give and take, respect, that attraction, and building upon common threads w/ the person. I never in a million years thought a person I had met a few years ago as a friend would end up being the man I am now going to marry! Life is crazy like that - you should have to go with the flow and date (not sleep with *wink*) a lot of men until you find one you fit with. It will happen when you least expect it which is the best part indeed!
December 12th, 2006 at 9:30 pm
I agree! There’s a fine line between following a “type” (which I try to avoid) and learning what you want to avoid repeating mistakes.
Congrats on finding your one!