ExposedNYC

You know what I really can’t stand? Insincerity. I overheard a greeting on the subway platform today that sounded like this (in a slow deadpan drawl, but with emphatic stress):

Hi-i… how ARE you?

Geewd, how ARE you-ooh?

I’M fi-een…

When the point of making civilized conversation when a mocking tone completely overshadows the intent of etiquette? If you sound like you’re just dying to get through it the whole time you’re saying it, why say it at all? I’ve never been big on small talk for the sake of small talk.

This often raises a problem for me on first dates. I tend to get bored once we’ve exhausted the basic interview of where are you from, what do you do, and number of siblings routine. I like to jump into what’s your favorite philosophical idea or what color should we repaint the sky? This generally elicits funny looks among so-called polite society.

And I swear, the East Coast is much more concerned with being proper. I have a friend out here that always makes me promise to send regards to my friends while I’m on the phone. If I forget, my friend seriously takes offense to it. Honestly, when you’re on the phone and someone says, “so-and-so says hi”, how often does it make your day?

Sure, the basics of please and thank you are a nice gesture, but only if you mean them. I know, I know, someone could be having a bad day, and I guess it’s thoughtful for them to extend common courtesies, but somewhere deep down inside I love that guy out there who when you ask how he’s doing says, “Shitty, thanks for asking”.

It leaves the ball in your court. If you actually cared enough to ask, you should feel compelled to inquire further. If you were just being polite, you’re left feeling awkward and wishing you had never said anything at all. Some people say our generation has lost their manners. I prefer to think that we’re just being real.

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