The Wingman
I’ve always loved the concept of a wingman. Whether you subscribe to “Bros Before Ho’s” or “Chicks Before Dicks”, you can’t beat having someone on your side willing to put their feelings aside to help you succeed.
Wingmen can arise in many different scenarios. Between guys, it can often mean respecting a friend’s pursuit of a girl you both think is hot, and not interrupting with the oh-so-eloquently named cock block. Spike provided a clear example of this when Brady called “dibs” on Doll (their term, not mine). Although Spike mentioned to me when I introduced her that he was interested, he didn’t step one foot near the conversation between Doll and Brady, even though the rest of the room milling around from person to person gave him every opportunity.
Although we didn’t need an outright discussion, the same policies apply to girls. Brady caught my eye when we were first introduced, but I could see him instantly zero in on my friend, so I backed off from catching up with her so she could get to know him. I also made a point to keep her in my peripheral, so if she needed an escape I could provide an out.
This brings me to one of the next duties a wingman can be asked to do- sacrifice themselves. While we were out, Dude sent Doll a message chastising her for hanging out with someone who had been rude to him (not true!) instead of them spending his last night in town together. But, when Doll admitted that it had been a bad idea and she had been uncomfortable rooming with her ex, although they were trying to be friends, I offered to put her up for the next few days, and accepted that a stranger would forever blame me as “the bitch” responsible for taking her away.
Wingmen can even exist across gender lines. Before we headed home, Spike pulled me aside and made me promise that after talking to Doll, if she had no interest in Brady to throw in a good word for him, but only if she came to the conclusion on her own first- a testament to his loyalty. Being one of the best guys I know, I promised to sing his praises.
A wingman is basically modern shorthand for a lesson learned over the years- friendship is much more trustworthy than dating, so it pays to recognize its value. A cute guy or girl in a bar may be the love of your life, or someone you never end up speaking to again. But, if you have a wingman on your side, navigating the not-so-friendly dating skies is not only easier, but a hell of a lot more fun.