The Scariest Words Ever…
…have to be “We need to talk”. I got a message from Fred last night saying hi, wanting to know how I was doing, and ending with the fact that he needed to talk to me.
What is it about those words that bring up your deepest darkest fears? I was already in bed, but suddenly couldn’t sleep. A montage of scenarios ran through my mind like a twisted version of America’s Scariest Home Videos.
Was he diagnosed with an STD? Did something happen to one of our mutual friends? What could I possibly have done wrong? I even for an irrational moment flitted past the idea of “what if he’s pregnant?” before I realized I had completely crossed over into irrational land. Sex comes with so many possibly scary consequences.
I was comforted by the fact that his tone throughout the rest of the message was upbeat and casual, but couldn’t sleep until I knew so I called him back. He answered, sounding nervous, and I cut straight to the chase, explaining that I had to get up early but wanted to know what was on his mind.
“I have to have this conversation with you,” he began, while my heart squirmed its way up into my throat. I begged him to just spit it out and, after a deep sigh and a case of the blurts he replied, “I’ve-got-a-girlfriend.”
Now it was my turn to sigh- with relief, “That’s great!” I replied with complete and utter sincerity. “I’m really happy for you.” Fred and I are perfectly aware that we aren’t meant for each other long-term. I could hear the relief in his voice as he tried to explain, “I wanted you to hear from me, and you know that this in no way changes our friendship. We’re still going to hang out.”
“Of course,” I responded, amused that he was so scared to tell me, “I’d love to meet her.” He paused again, “You already know her.” Then I understood his hesitation. He was back with a former relationship, who he was also friends with, and that I had met on numerous occasions. This took another moment to digest, but when it didn’t immediately strike a chord of jealousy, all of my fears vanished. I honestly think they’re a good match, and look forward to the day when I can return the phone call.