ExposedNYC

I sat squirming in my seat. We chatted easily, as we had all night long, but I grew nervous as we approached my house.

Normally, this issue doesn’t arise when you haven’t been on a date. We had been out with a group of mutual friends who had slowly trickled out of the bar, leaving us the last two mid-conversation and finishing our drinks. As we walked out into the snow and he offered me a ride home, there wasn’t much of a reason to turn him down.

He was a nice guy, cute, and appeared interested. I just kept coming back to using these as justifications with one of the last guys I dated when I tried, in vain, to convince myself to be attracted to him. You can’t fake butterflies.

Being honest with myself, I had a crush on one of his friends. When I got home that night and closed my eyes, that was the face I pictured. Sure, there’s the whole proverb about the birds and the bush, but these are guys, and I’d gotten a flirtatious vibe from my crush, too. A guy with a car doesn’t necessarily trump the guy in the bar.

When it comes to a group of guy friends, you have to play your cards carefully. I want my options open until there is a clear declaration of interest from either party, not a convenient kiss out of situational circumstance.

So, I leaned over for a quick kiss on the cheek, thanked him for the ride, and left my options open. If anything, I can say I’ve learned from past mistakes. I know that the “perfect guy” is one that I want, not the one I should want.

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