ExposedNYC

While I was in college I worked in a restaurant where the entire staff, from management to bus staff, was really close knit. During business hours we did what we had to do, but at the end of the night everyone unwound over drinks at the bar. When my old manager moved to Vegas we stayed in infrequent touch, and I’ve stopped in to visit every time I’m in town.

This last time, while I was stranded for a few extra days, Boss had the day off and we went out to dinner with friends of his. We met up with my gang at the end of the night and I didn’t really give it a second thought.

A few weeks later he sent me a text message saying that he was thinking of visiting New York. I responded that timing was perfect because another co-worker is moving here next month and we could have a mini-reunion. Then this weekend I got this text message:

“I want to come visit you. Just you. What do you think?”

I was taken completely off guard, and those dumb sexual harassment signs that were plastered around our restaurant flashed in front of my eyes. It took me a moment to rationalize that I’ve grown up since then, and Boss and I are friends now. But I realized that I couldn’t fall back on an easy excuse to get out of this, and would have to come up with a sensitive way to let him down.

Thankful that text messaging is the coward’s best friend, I took some time to decide how to respond until I could come up with something that wouldn’t make things uncomfortable, but that sent my feelings clearly. I empathized with Boss, knowing that after pouring your feelings into a keypad and hesitating before pressing the SEND button you’re dying for an immediate response, but I wanted to get this right.

I settled on, “It would be silly for you to travel 3,000 miles to see a friend, but would love to hang out if you came to see the city,” and then to keep things light-hearted threw in, “Hope you had a good Easter!” I’ve always felt that exclamation points make good ice-breakers.

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