ExposedNYC

I was flipping through channels the other night, while packing all night for an early morning flight, and came across Father of the Bride. There’s something about this movie that I always have to stop and watch (plus I was trying to stay awake so I could sleep on the plane, and during insomniac hours your TV choices are quite limited- not much of an infomercial fan).

There’s one moment that, without fail, always makes me cry. It sneaks up on you, too, because after listening to Martin Sheen babble unintelligibly you let your guard down. When Steve Martin and his daughter have just finished a game of one-on-one basketball in the driveway, and it starts to snow, he gives her a look. She looks up at him and says, “You’re probably thinking that this will cost you more money [paraphrasing]” and he looks back at her and replies, “No, I was just thinking that I’m going to remember this moment for the rest of my life.”

Any long term readers know that I’m a hopeless Daddy’s girl. He was in Philadelphia on business last week and drove in to NYC for the day to spend it with me before driving back to catch his flight. Plus, I was preparing to fly home for a wedding (one of the five that I was invited to this year!), so the timing and the subject matter seemed appropriate. It got me thinking about the things that were important to me in my relationship with my father. Some of my expectations for a man may seem minute, but were drastically shaped by moments that I remember with my father.

Take athleticism. One of the reasons that the basketball scene hits me so hard is that my dad and I definitely bonded over sports. We used to play football in the street in front of my house, and in college we took a road trip to one of the Bowl games just the two of us.

Now, I’m all for artistic guys, nerdy guys, etc, but when I tried to picture marrying a guy who couldn’t at least throw a pitch to my son or daughter if they took up softball it just seemed wrong. Sure, my father was no NFL pro, but in my mind as a child he was as good as Joe Montana. I would never require a man I dated to be interested in or adept at sports, but it’s funny that if you start to consider dating as an audition for the future father of your children how many different expectations arise.

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