ExposedNYC

Sure, it was a cute concept for a Drew Barrymore movie and all, but I’ve been dwelling recently on the fact that I’ve never been in love. Not even close, not even puppy love that everyone says they felt before they really knew what love was. No man has ever looked me in the eyes and uttered the three scariest, most exhilarating words in our language.

This has particularly been driven home by the fact that it’s wedding season. I just spent a week at home watching one of my college roommates pledge her life to a Texas boy. It was a weekend full of big hair, thick accents, and lots of Southern hospitality.

The bride pulled aside a few of us while getting manicures and pedicures for her bachelorette party and broke the (relieving) news that she was not planning on tossing her bouquet. Some of the girls shared horror stories of recent receptions they attended where the DJ actually called up the women one by one and quizzed them as to what they did for a living and why they were still single!

I became infinitely more grateful for this gesture when I realized most of the wedding party and guests were married. This saved me from standing in the middle of an empty floor with an eight year old, a girl who’s boyfriend was back in Chicago, and someone’s great aunt. It was hard enough driving solo from the wedding to the reception, followed by a car full of three wives of the groomsmen, and not dancing a single slow dance throughout the night. I started to regret not bringing a date.

But the strangest moment for me was watching the actual vows. I usually tear up watching a friend on one of the happiest days of their life, but this one was different. As they stood in front of us, promising to honor and cherish each other for years and years to come, it didn’t seem real. I couldn’t relate. As I watched them gaze into each other’s eyes all I could think of was that if it were me, I’d have to break eye contact a few times because anyone staring at me that long would make me uncomfortable.

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