ExposedNYC

I’m really not good at the rules of the dating game, mostly because they consistently ask me to ignore my instincts. I have to keep in mind not just what my intentions are, but how my actions will be interpreted by a relative stranger. And I’m supposed to do this while simultaneously getting to know how this person thinks.

I spent Sunday night watching the game with Manning, a fun feat in and of itself. Sharing a victory with a football fan who also happens to resemble the quarterback of the New York Giants heightened the experience to a higher level, floating somewhere between reality and fantasy.

The next day, as I stopped to grab a latte before running my afternoon errands, my thoughts turned to him. I knew he had an early morning at work, and was probably dying for a caffeine boost by now. Conveniently, his work was also only a few blocks away. Not yet knowing his coffee preferences, I went for the universal crowd pleaser- grande mocha- and set off down the street with a drink warming each hand.

This is the point where I started to analyze my gesture. Walking into his work would be invading his personal space. If I had to ask around to find him, he would surely be questioned in return by coworkers investigating my identity. Not to mention, no matter how spontaneous the decision may have been in my head, I had on good authority from a male friend that this could be interpreted as single stalking behavior.

I finished these thoughts just about the same time I reached the front door, hesitating for a moment before turning and tossing the spare drink into the nearest waste receptacle and quickly turning the corner.

What bothers me most is not so much the waste of an overpriced beverage- I threw any sentiment away along with it. He won’t know that he crosses my mind during the most unexpected moments. And what’s even harder is that I don’t know how many times I cross his.

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