A gay bar to a woman is like a mirage in a desert- everything that you want but can’t have dangled right in front of your eyes. Gorgeous men, toned bodies, impeccable style, and a highly tuned appreciation for the arts.
Now of course I realize I’m speaking in stereotypes- this is not the picture of all gay men, but in a crowded Manhattan bar on a Thursday night I was reminded that most clichés have some sense of truth to them.
And while I may have been surrounded by beautiful bodies not one of them would have produced the slightest physical reaction if I had attempted the art of seduction. This is the ultimate tease- this is our strip club.
Men, take note- this is your ideal place to pick up women. Our guard is down and we’re dressed to a tee, dying for someone to take notice of the body beneath it.
We’ll probably enter into any conversation under the assumption that you have absolutely no ill intentions so we’ll take your words at face value. Our sense of trust is high and our defenses are low. If you’ve ever battled against the cynicism of a scorned woman you know how important those two factors can be.
Not to mention, you just became the most attractive man in the room. Never underestimate how many cute points straight can buy you. You just became that proverbial lone man on a deserted island of women and that has got to be a boost to your confidence. Just don’t use any opening lines involving procreating and saving the human race. Our sense of reality may be warped, but we realize there is a real world outside those doors.
Subscribe to ExposedNYC using an 
premium ads run across the entire Metadish network of sites
6 Comments
Did you see American Pie 3? Cos I would totally go to a Gay Bar to watch Stifler get in a dance off with a big butch dude! Best scene of the movie
Posted Saturday, March 1, 2008 at 10:57 pm | Permalink
I LOVE a good Gay Bar. LOVE.
Posted Sunday, March 2, 2008 at 3:26 am | Permalink
YES! Stiffler always had a bit of a gay vibe… he was so willing to do anything for lesbian action in American Pie 2, too. There’s that whole “Thou does protest too much” vibe going on there
Posted Sunday, March 2, 2008 at 5:26 am | Permalink
Welcome to living in San Francisco
I can’t tell you how many people have already told me, “It’s a good thing you already have a boyfriend, because you definitely wouldn’t find (a straight) one here!”
Posted Sunday, March 2, 2008 at 3:29 pm | Permalink
Sometimes I find gay bars frightening.
It’s like accidentally turning on a gay porn you can’t turn off.
Posted Monday, March 3, 2008 at 12:02 pm | Permalink
And how.
The last time I was at a gay bar, as soon as my friend and I walked in, the bartender came up to me and told me that I was adorable.
I immediately became new BFF(and E) with him while he fed us free shots all night.
He was totally adorable, with the perfect amount of “sweep” in his hair across his forehead, and was only wearing underwear.
After “flirting” with him for a good 2 hours, I was psyched to have a new gay boy best friend.
Then he asked me out.
It was a little awkward when I told him I had a boyfriend.
Posted Monday, March 3, 2008 at 6:44 pm | Permalink
Post a Comment