ExposedNYC

There are certain people who make more of an impression on your mind than they ever do in your life.

It can almost be harder to get over a crush than an actual relationship. They never had the chance to disappoint you so you can cling to that perfect vision you had of him asking you to the prom/to move in/to marry him.

Harder still is the stigma of not being able to talk about it with your friends. Sure, there’s an accepted grieving period for people you dated for a matter of weeks/months/years. But what about that guy who you just spent hours fantasizing about? How do you instantly drop that habit and move on?

It’s hard to explain why someone makes an impression on you. Why their answers in class made you feel like you understood the depths of their soul. Why their knowledge of an obscure movie you both loved translated to expectations of everlasting love. Why you’re still dying for that silly smile to be directed at you.

There may be a conversation, a date even, but nothing to warrant the obsession of considering their opinion on every decision you make. They may be completely oblivious, a characteristic I’m sad to say usually feeds the monster that consumes my thoughts like an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord.

I don’t remember ever having an imaginary friend, but I can imagine that this is what it felt like to say goodbye when they moved away.

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