ExposedNYC

Modern technology can make our lives much easier, and our mistakes impossible to erase. The following exchange happened after being out with a group of friends at a bar and flirting with a cute Australian guy all evening before leaving to go to work at the club.

Text to my girlfriend (or so I thought…):
“He just outright offered me a shower and sex explicitly! Of course no, but nice to know I’ve still got it :)”

Voice Mail my girlfriend:
“Um…I think you just sent a text to him that was meant for me. I walked past him reading it. Give me a call!”

So I searched frantically through my phone and discovered that, yes, I had sent the message about him TO him! I frantically started backpedaling and composing the apology in my mind.

My Apology Text:
“Oh god I’m such an ass! Obvious message mistake. The “of course” was because I’m going to work and not meant as an offense. Just silly girl talk :)”

I decided not to address the issue that I was sharing information with my friend. It turns out I had nothing to worry about as he continued to text me all night.

Him:
” I love you to” (which I assumed was a typo)

Me:
“Oh good. Technology can be tricky :)” - and yes, I realize I over abuse the It keeps the mood light hearted.

Him:
“No, I want to have sex with you”

I was a little taken aback, but bored at work so I decided to play along:
“Well, that may be difficult since I’m standing in public right now! Are you drunk?”

Him (completely missing the point):
“I can meet you anywhere”

Me:
“No silly, I work all night long. It’s a bar.”

I went back to work for awhile and ignored my phone, only to check it and find:
“You and me naked gorgeous. realy want to make out with you” - p.s. Typos are so not the way to my heart!

And now I decided he had crossed the line and needed a little etiquette lesson:
“You do realize we just met? Talk to me like a lady. Where are you?”

Him (again, missing the point):
“In your pants”

Now, at this point I was dealing with a drunk, horny man and I should have just stopped responding, but I was at the very least entertained so I decided to challenge him:
“You have a one track mind! Tell me one thing you like about me that’s not physical. Prove that it’s not just a random booty call.”

After a few minute of contemplation more than usual:
“You smile for no reason. Just because you’re a happy person and its the rarest thing I know and I love it”

And I smiled, a sucker for a compliment despite the previous crassness:
“Well thanks. Maybe we’ll hang out sometime and you’ll get to know more.”

And if only he had left well enough alone, but an hour later as I was climbing into bed my phone vibrated with this final thought for the evening:
“I can’t wait to go down on you”

Some guys just never learn.

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