Don’t get my hopes up. Don’t even let me get to know you because everything I learn just makes you more appealing.
Don’t agree with me - politically, morally, musically - and then treat us as if we have nothing in common. Don’t rattle off your story because it sounds a bit too much like mine. Just stop reading me mind and telling me everything I want to hear.
Don’t expect me to make every first move, and don’t think I’m satisfied because you rapidly respond to every move I make. Don’t leave me with just enough interest not to give up, but just enough doubt to wonder if it’s the right decision. Don’t give me such good excuses.
Don’t post such damn cute pictures where I can see them. Don’t be so easy to find. Don’t express your thoughts so clearly on every subject other than why I haven’t seen you again. Don’t cross my mind so many times a day.
And most of all, don’t kiss me like that if you don’t mean it. Don’t shake me to the core of my very being. Don’t remind me of everything I had deluded myself into thinking I could live without.
Don’t pull me into the embrace I wasn’t even expecting and don’t make me be the one to break away when I could stand here in your arms all night. Don’t deny the raw passion that I felt exuding from your body. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel the same thing.
Shit, it’s been almost a week. You know what they say to addicts, dieters, and anyone involved in a workout plan that falls off the wagon- don’t dwell on the past just pick up and do the best you can moving forward, one day at a time.
I can rattle off all the necessary excuses- working five different jobs in five days, and often more than one in a day, less than four hours of sleep in 72 hours, etc. but I know that you all have busy lives too. So, I’ll start my blogging return with what was one of the worst days I’ve had in recent history as my plea for your sympathy instead.
I was up early in the morning heading to an interview with a new promotions company that a friend recommended me for. This was my first impression so I wanted time to primp, preen and prepare to make the best first impression. But, my morning routine was interrupted with a friend who called with an emergency [a long story in and of itself] and needed me to move their car.
Having access to keys, and not being a native New York driver, I quickly agreed to what I imagined would an easy favor. I put the finishing touches on my face and raced out the door. Read More »
It’s official, women are suckers for an accent. In the last few hours working at Starbucks every couple that sat down next to me consisted of a foreign man and an attractive American women, and let me tell you, the girls were willing to put up with some of the least riveting conversations I’ve ever heard.
Couple #1
“I was yawning all night.”
“Yah-ning?”
“Yawning.”
“Yow-ning?”
“Yawning.”
Somehow the conversational level of teaching a one-year-old to talk passed for pleasant company. Read More »
Over the weekend I worked the guest list at a downtown club and let me tell you, there is no sense of power like a clipboard in hand and a line down the block. I was told in advance to work at my own pace and not let anyone intimidate me so I focused on getting my job right instead of getting people out of the cold.
It was funny place for me because I’m far from a club kid- I’m more comfortable in jeans and a dive bar than half dressed backed by thumping beats. I didn’t even remember the big name DJ people were coming to see, so I could have easily pissed off his girlfriend or BFF. Luckily, I think I slid right through those velvet ropes without an incident.
When it came to people trying to talk their way in, I made my own set of rules. It wasn’t about how they were dressed or how much money they waved in my face- I left that to the bouncers pulling them out of line. By the time they got to me it was a simple matter of manners. Read More »
A gay bar to a woman is like a mirage in a desert- everything that you want but can’t have dangled right in front of your eyes. Gorgeous men, toned bodies, impeccable style, and a highly tuned appreciation for the arts.
Now of course I realize I’m speaking in stereotypes- this is not the picture of all gay men, but in a crowded Manhattan bar on a Thursday night I was reminded that most clichés have some sense of truth to them.
And while I may have been surrounded by beautiful bodies not one of them would have produced the slightest physical reaction if I had attempted the art of seduction. This is the ultimate tease- this is our strip club.
Men, take note- this is your ideal place to pick up women. Our guard is down and we’re dressed to a tee, dying for someone to take notice of the body beneath it. Read More »
The weather is not the only frozen thing in New York right now. This video is one of the reasons why I love living in a town full of artists- you could walk into an impromptu installation any time, anywhere. Check it out:
And for a little more low brow [yet hilarious] entertainment on the relationship subject, Jimmy Kimmel retaliates…. Read More »
The dreading is almost always worse than the doing. I was so not looking forward to having a conversation with Connect Zero that I found myself in serious procrastination mode. When Saturday rolled around and I didn’t have a good excuse of something else to do, I sent a text saying exactly what I was feeling:
“Sorry, I need a night in to myself tonight. Call you later this week.”
I knew I owed him more than a brief explanation, but I didn’t have the energy for it, so I pushed it a little further back in my mind and ahead in my day planner. Read More »
- Why are all of the women wearing fish scales and feathers?! Is this the next incarnation of animal print? I’m not a fan. And, can someone please tell the gorgeous petite women to embrace their shapes and leave the structured bodices for those who need them to hold them up? Keri Russell and Amy Adams are gorgeous, but their boobs looked built into the dresses they wore. Embrace your small frame- you don’t need to look like fem bots!
- I worked for an events producer, so I KNOW there was some screaming when Colin Farrell and John Travolta both tripped on the same spot!
- Tilda Swinton was a perfect way to lighten the mood by not taking things too seriously, but she’s totally going to get pranked by George Clooney for making fun of him.
- While we’re at it, Can we please clone George Clooney? Read More »
I decided to give Connect Zero a second chance, not because I thought he would win me over but because I have an empathetic streak that tends to stroll hand in hand with its pall the guilt complex. For all the times I’ve wished for a do-over with a guy I really like the least I could do is grant someone else the same courtesy.
When I met him he was new to the city. We live in a broad definition of the same neighborhood so I originally agreed to get together more under the guise of a tour guide than a romantic rendezvous. It only became clear to me when we started to plan that this was a “date” thing.
I hate having anything to do with rejection- dishing it out or sucking it down- so I listened to those hand-holding chums and took the wimpy way out. I justified to myself that in such a tough city, one that can beat you down even when you’ve known it long enough to see it coming, I owed it to him to soften the blow. Read More »
I can rattle off all the necessary excuses- working five different jobs in five days, and often more than one in a day, less than four hours of sleep in 72 hours, etc. but I know that you all have busy lives too. So, I’ll start my blogging return with what was one of the worst days I’ve had in recent history as my plea for your sympathy instead.
Over the weekend I worked the guest list at a downtown club and let me tell you, there is no sense of power like a clipboard in hand and a line down the block. I was told in advance to work at my own pace and not let anyone intimidate me so I focused on getting my job right instead of getting people out of the cold.
A gay bar to a woman is like a mirage in a desert- everything that you want but can’t have dangled right in front of your eyes. Gorgeous men, toned bodies, impeccable style, and a highly tuned appreciation for the arts. 
The dreading is almost always worse than the doing. I was so not looking forward to having a conversation with Connect Zero that I found myself in serious procrastination mode. When Saturday rolled around and I didn’t have a good excuse of something else to do, I sent a text saying exactly what I was feeling:
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