The dreading is almost always worse than the doing. I was so not looking forward to having a conversation with Connect Zero that I found myself in serious procrastination mode. When Saturday rolled around and I didn’t have a good excuse of something else to do, I sent a text saying exactly what I was feeling:
“Sorry, I need a night in to myself tonight. Call you later this week.”
I knew I owed him more than a brief explanation, but I didn’t have the energy for it, so I pushed it a little further back in my mind and ahead in my day planner.
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- Why are all of the women wearing fish scales and feathers?! Is this the next incarnation of animal print? I’m not a fan. And, can someone please tell the gorgeous petite women to embrace their shapes and leave the structured bodices for those who need them to hold them up? Keri Russell and Amy Adams are gorgeous, but their boobs looked built into the dresses they wore. Embrace your small frame- you don’t need to look like fem bots!
- I worked for an events producer, so I KNOW there was some screaming when Colin Farrell and John Travolta both tripped on the same spot!
- Tilda Swinton was a perfect way to lighten the mood by not taking things too seriously, but she’s totally going to get pranked by George Clooney for making fun of him.
- While we’re at it, Can we please clone George Clooney?
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I decided to give Connect Zero a second chance, not because I thought he would win me over but because I have an empathetic streak that tends to stroll hand in hand with its pall the guilt complex. For all the times I’ve wished for a do-over with a guy I really like the least I could do is grant someone else the same courtesy.
When I met him he was new to the city. We live in a broad definition of the same neighborhood so I originally agreed to get together more under the guise of a tour guide than a romantic rendezvous. It only became clear to me when we started to plan that this was a “date” thing.
I hate having anything to do with rejection- dishing it out or sucking it down- so I listened to those hand-holding chums and took the wimpy way out. I justified to myself that in such a tough city, one that can beat you down even when you’ve known it long enough to see it coming, I owed it to him to soften the blow.
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“In victory, you deserve Champagne, in defeat, you need it.” -Napoleon Bonaparte
I’ve taken to indulging in a few glasses of sparkling wine for various reasons these past few days- to ease the nerves of an exhausting commute (it’s a bad idea to miss your stop on an express train in Queens…), to celebrate a reunion with a long-neglected friend and a new episode of LOST, and as a perfect accompaniment to a sushi dinner.
Nothing beats the bubbly, giddy high of grown-up grape juice. It feels more refined than downing shots as a means to an end, and beer is no comparison in the eternal arguments of “Great Taste” versus “Less Filling”. It’s a spritely, fairy tale high that inspires me to toast even life’s littlest achievements and ride the wave of bubbles into a deep sleep.
I’m all for circumstantial substance abuse- a cold beer in a sports stadium, body shots on spring break, and a blended beverage on a hot summer day- but today I want to raise a glass to the delicate charms of a drink far too magical to be saved just for special occasions.
I’ve always been a competitive girl. Since joining Facebook I am kicking ass and talking virtual shit all over Srabulous. This is part of what makes me an avid sports fan, a passionate debater, and ultimately a New Yorker.
But sometimes I worry that I’m behind in the relationship game. I’ve made it through the first quarterlife crisis without a solid long-term relationship score on the board. I’ve played in the recreational leagues, had some fun dates and learned more about what I want in a guy and in myself, but I can’t seem to make the varsity squad. I keep hearing, “This team is full” or “Come back next year.”
And the longer you keep playing, the harder it is to get scouts to take a new look at you. They’re checking out the college seniors or going to the draft to find someone who knows what they’re doing. Sure I may be able to boast not carrying much baggage, but that also means I didn’t even bother to buy the equipment I would need to practice.
I’m stuck in an eternal gym class line-up, with my heart screaming, “Pick me! Pick me!” I’m dying to show someone how much I’ve improved and everything I have to offer. I know how to hit a home run in my own back yard. I’ve studied all of the tapes of he other teams and seen my friends win championships.
I’ve got what it takes and I’m ready, coach. Now just please, put me in the game?
Playing the role of Corporate Girl for a job interview- up with the morning rush hour with a Starbucks in one hand and laptop slung over the opposing shoulder-
Empowering.
Choosing flats over heels that night because before you’ve even left the house you can’t get excited about the possibility of kicking them off at the end of the date-
Telling.
Just realized I left some unfinished business on my story of dating a freshman, and since it’s one I use to remind myself of the confidence I’m able to muster when needed, I thought now would be a good time to continue:
After a surprisingly great first date with a younger guy, I was expecting a phone call, or to at least run into him near my locker. Instead, I found him avoiding me all week long. In the tradition of high school gossip mills, I was told through friends that he was now dating a girl in his class and had said that I was a bad kisser.
I was fuming mad of course, but came to terms with it over the next two years and we actually developed a friendship. By senior year I even invited him to a formal dance with me, under the guise that this was no indication whatsoever of romantic involvement.
I got all dolled up, of course, with my hair done, a great dress and the air of confidence that only comes with not worrying about impressing anyone. This night was just for me and I had an idea brewing in the back of my head.
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I’ve recently become a full-blown Facebook user. I had a profile before, but had never uploaded a picture, filled out any information, and joined purely because a friend invited me to see some photos.
My inspiration for the change of heart? I was invited to Buddy’s birthday party- where I met the adorable Non-threatening Bouncer- through Facebook and Buddy suggested that I find his profile and send him a message the following day. I did, and received an instantaneous response thanking me for finding him, along with a reference to one of our conversations the night before.
God, I love the non-threatening middle ground of social networking. If I had asked Buddy for his phone number and called it could have easily been misconstrued as being too forward, but cyber stalking has become an acceptable means of communication for our generation. It’s like asking a friend to set you up but cutting out the middleman.
But it has its downsides- Read More »
Since it seems to be a bit of a blogging rite of passage, I’ve decided to tackle the ubiquitous “100 Things About Me” list. Lucky for you, I’m breaking it down into manageable chunks of twenty at a time, in an attempt at always leaving them wanting more, and because even I don’t think I’m that fascinating.
1. I am completely aware that I will have more fun writing this list than most people will have reading it.
2. I am a fraternal twin.
3. I never know how to answer when people ask me what it’s like to be a twin. That’s like me asking, “What’s it like to not be a twin?” It’s all I’ve ever known, so to me it’s normal.
4. I used to ask my parents to make up long division problems for me…for fun.
5. I think that kissing in the pouring rain is one of the most romantic images in the universe.
6. I’m absolutely fascinated by most aerial phenomenon- lightning, shooting stars, sunsets, etc.
7. I’m incredibly indecisive. I seriously pursued at least seven majors in college, including dance and political science, but remained undeclared well into my junior year.
8. I graduated with a degree in business because my best friend convinced me that no matter what I ended up doing, it would have to be a business in order to make any money.
9. I’ve traveled in nine countries on two continents and have about 800 to go.
10. I can speak a little bit of both French and Greek, and even less Spanish.
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